Please Excuse the Mess Sign — Our Standards Lowered With Each Child

The Please Excuse the Mess Sign That Tells the Whole Truth

Every home with kids has a disclaimer, and this one finally puts it in writing. Our carved please excuse the mess sign reads Please Excuse the Mess — Our Standards Have Lowered With Each Child, less apology than sworn statement. Guests read it, laugh, and quit noticing the cereal on the floor.

Why the Confession Gets Carved, Not Printed

A printed plaque about lowered standards would be ironic in the wrong direction. This one is CNC-carved into solid Kentucky pine or poplar in our Bardstown workshop, letters cut deep enough to survive the very children it describes. Sticky fingers, flying toys, the occasional juice event — the message holds. Wipe it down and it keeps confessing.

Where the Disclaimer Does Its Work

• Entryway — sets expectations before the shoes come off
• Living room — hangs directly above the toy debris field
• Playroom — the room that made the sign necessary
• Laundry room — where the standards went to die

The Specs

• Solid locally-sourced pine or poplar — never MDF
• Three sizes: Small 16" x 3.5", Classic 24" x 5.5", Bold 30" x 7.5"
• 20 hand-applied stain and paint finishes
• CNC-carved lettering — never printed, never vinyl
• Sawtooth hanger pre-installed; handmade in Kentucky, free U.S. shipping

The Housewarming Line Everyone Quotes

Baby showers, housewarmings, birthdays for the parent who has stopped pretending — this gift gets read aloud before the wrapping hits the floor. Three sizes fit anything from a gallery wall to the big spot over the couch, twenty finishes match whatever the decor was before the kids weighed in, and it ships free anywhere in the U.S. Pair it with our other funny family carved signs and let the whole hallway tell the truth.

If the wording is not the one, the House Rules Sign runs “We Say Please And Thank You. Once”.